If you are physically able, offer to help with the actual clean-up process when the time comes.Offer to help her find someone she feels she can work with. Taking the first step can be the toughest. Help your friend find a professional in your area that deals specifically with hoarding issues, recommends IOCDF.Maryland Hoarding Cleanup also offers resources for those dealing with the problem. You can read through to get a better idea of what your friend is dealing with as well as what she faces as she attempts to control the disorder. The International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) offers information and other resources on its website. While most people with OCD never hoard, those who do can have a difficult time unraveling their hoarding habit with their compulsive need to save things. Hoarders are considered to have a form of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). A hoarder’s condition can improve with cognitive therapy and sometimes medications to treat an underlying condition, but as her friend your primary role will be as her supporter. While it is vital that a hoarder receive support, you must recognize that you cannot “heal” her. Hoarding is not simply an issue of aesthetics, but also can result in serious threats to the health and safety of the hoarder and anyone else who spends time in her home.Ĭompulsive hoarding is a mental disorder, deeply ingrained in the hoarder’s mind and habits. “The Psychiatry Department at the University of California describes hoarding as a disorder characterized by one’s difficultly discarding items that appear to have little or no value. I strongly encourage you to do further research by doing a Google search for “hoarding help” or “hoarding.” Here is information from the Hoarders Anonymous website. This means there cannot be items that pose a safety hazard such as tripping, and most importantly, the room needs to be kept free of items that could cause or inflame a fire. The room that you give to your hoarder must be kept in a safe condition. Any shared space in your house needs to be kept clutter free.Ģ. Hopefully, with time and help, your hoarding partner will be able to let go of some stuff, but in the meantime, let him have a room.ġ. Understand that your partner cannot throw things away without experiencing great distress and anxiety, so simply give him a room. It needs to have a door that you can close so you don’t need to look at the mess. Ideally, this should be a spare bedroom, garage, basement or whatever is available. A hoarding professional is not your average psychotherapist – its someone who specializes in helping hoarders.Īnother way you can help yourself is by designating one room in your house for your hoarding partner to use for his stuff. After educating yourself about hoarding, you can have a compassionate and understanding talk with your partner, and hopefully get him to agree to make an appointment with a hoarding professional. Here are some ideas on how you can take care of yourself. While your hoarding partner cannot change overnight, that doesn’t mean you need to drive yourself nuts by living with the kind of clutter that a hoarder accumulates. I’ve included information from their website below. A great place to start is Hoarders Anonymous at reading into how others have helped hoarders. The more you understand, the easier it will be for you to support and encourage your hoarding partner. Second – educate yourself about hoarding. I acknowledge that this won’t be easy, but it’s the only way through your situation. You will need to find it within yourself to develop both compassion and patience for your hoarding partner. So I suggest this approach when dealing with a hoarder.įirst – understand that hoarding is a serious disorder. A hoarder has deep-rooted, psychological reasons for hoarding, and they experience the kind of panic that you describe, when faced with getting rid of stuff. Hoarders are very different from your average person who is messy, or has some clutter. How does one declutter and simplify when they live with someone who is panicked by the mere thought of removing something of questionably dubious value that might be needed thirty years from now?Ī. This is a really tough question because it sounds like the person you are dealing with is a hoarder.
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